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I was driving to the mechanic’s this morning, and I was listening to a very interesting morning show on Live 105 (for those lucky to live in the San Francisco Bay Area, you know the awesomeness that is this radio station). It was all about men taking back the power from women. Hell yea!! The guys on Live 105 were citing anti-male advertising and other women power mongering techniques. I couldn’t agree more. This is goddamn ridiculous. Where do women get off making fun of us men? We were the ones who started to marginalize and objectify women in the media way before they started! There’s only room for one gender to make fun of the other in a public forum and us men did it first. Back off ladies!

As I kept listening, I just got more and more pumped up. I mean, first, they called it “Take it Back in ’08.” No matter what the subject is, when you name something “Take it Back,” I’m gonna want to take it back! Thankfully, it just so happened that this time around it was something with which I agreed. Women have been running rampant for way too long, about 30 years or so out of the history of human civilization. That’s just a few decades too long in my opinion. I miss the good olé days, ya know the vast majority of human history, where men could do whatever they wanted, and women just had to sit there and be quiet. Oh yes, those were the days.

Don’t get me wrong; we’ve still got a few areas where we control everything. Men still make more than women at the same type of work, thankfully. So men can rest easy knowing that they can probably do less work and still get paid more. Ya know, as it should be. It just isn’t enough anymore though. Men, I say we take this “Take it Back” campaign one step further. Besides taking back the power in our personal relationships and the media, we need to take back more. I say we take back women’s suffrage. We gave it to them, but obviously women can’t be trusted, so we are gonna take it back!

Now, you’re probably saying to yourself, “Hey Alex, you’re a chauvinistic jerk, go f*ck yourself.” With which I would respond, “Hey, shut up!” But what you’re REALLY asking yourself is “Hey Alex, how do I take the power back? What can I do personally?” It’s simple really. Just start exerting your power over women in your personal relationships. Like they said on Live 105, instead of women withholding sex, men, you be the ones to withhold sex. If a girl asks you to do something for her, tell her to do it herself and afterward to go cook you dinner. Simple things you can do around the house, and the power will just start flowing back.

I’m hoping this “Take it Back” campaign will start to catch fire. Women have to learn that they cannot continue to toy with us men, or even worse, one day be considered equals with men (god forbid). So, men, let’s rise up and do this thing because with a concentrated effort, we can finally get the power back.