Scandalicious

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m extremely happy a liberal has finally been brought down by a scandal. I was getting scared for a bit. There hasn’t been a major liberal politician to fall to a scandal since old Billie with Lewinsky-gate. Why have conservatives been getting all the crap recently? I mean, how can we conservatives preach family and religious values when the media keeps outing us on stuff like bribes and gay affairs? Its just not fair, goddamnit! However, the media is a rant for another day.

You probably know which liberal politician I’m talking about. That’s right, former New York governor Eliot Spitzer. Now, like I said, I’m overjoyed that a liberal has bitten the dust, but Spitzer’s scandal is just another example of politicians being scrutinized for everything these days. What is our world coming to when a major politician, after a hard day’s work, can’t call a prostitute over to have a little fun? And its not just prostitution. Politicians are finding it harder and harder to take bribes, have gay affairs, and take drugs. I’ll tell you who’s got the right idea, though. Spitzer’s wife. Way to stick by your man. Even though he slept with another woman and has probably done it multiple times, you’re sticking by him. Good for you. I mean, on your wedding day you promised to stay by him for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish him. Just because he didn’t stick by his vows doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t. I mean, it’s like this woman that called in to a local radio show said, “It’s probably your fault anyway, lady.” If you had maybe kinked it up a bit in the bedroom and taken care of him a bit better, he wouldn’t have strayed. At least you’re owning up to your mistakes, Ms. Spitzer.

Now, why am I so upset you might ask? I’m upset because our politicians have to answer to the public. I mean, they get elected, and that’s it. They shouldn’t have to prove themselves any further. They should just sit back, relax, enjoy the ride, take the occasional bribe, and bang the occasional prostitute. What’s the point of wanting to be a politician if you can’t do those things? It used to come with the territory until our dear politicians had to worry about “accountability,” “results,” and “not breaking the law.” Those are all subjective terms anyway, if you ask me. We’ve already lost a lot of good politicians. Tom Delay and Mark Foley to name a few. It’s just so sad. However, I say, let’s end this silliness. Let’s just stop caring what politicians do. Let them lead their double lives in peace, so they can indulge in their God given right as politicians; breaking the law on a regular basis. They’re not hurting anybody except their friends, families, and constituents, are they?