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If Sylvester Stallone’s fourth and, God lets hope, final installment of the Rambo series, elegantly titled Rambo, were a fish and you threw it in the ocean, it wouldn’t be much of a fish at all. It’d be a fish that swims in circles or upside down with one eye missing. But in a brainless vacuum, in its own separate bowl, Rambo is a shark.

Rambo amazes with astronomical levels of unintentional comedy. When Stallone tries to captivate us, we laugh. When he tries to establish emotional content and connections between the characters, we laugh even harder. When we get the gore– ultimately why we are there– we say, “Oh my God,” and laugh.

Some scenes in the movie could be shocking to the lighthearted. War and violence aren’t funny. What is funny is how John Rambo gets mixed up in another war zone and how his acts of maim and mutilation are justified. Rambo’s response to executions, pillaging, plundering, and raping is, well you guessed it, violence. My mother told me as a youth, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” But in Rambo’s world brutality is true and Rambo is the prime minister of punishment.

There are some moments in the movie that are so bad that they actually become good. In fact, the whole plot adheres to that rule. Rambo is requisitioned to drive a group of freedom fighters to Burma, which is in the midst of civil war. Rambo initially told the group of doctors and bible wielders to step off and stay away from Burma. However, since he had not gotten any for countless years, he is wooed by the looks of a mildly attractive woman. In his defense, she convinces him to do so in the dark and she’s wearing a wet t-shirt.

While captaining his snake boat, the woman approaches him. One of her collaborators, who she may or may not be involved with, scolds her. (Please keep in mind, I’m paraphrasing here.) “Where are you going?” (This is probably one of the worst lines in the movie. Seriously, keep an ear out for it.) He is threatened by the testosterone oozing from the steroid-filled sixty year old man. “I’m going to talk to him. He’s helping us,” she said. “I’m sure he wants his privacy. The man has been paid,” he replied. She lets it be known that he didn’t accept any payment. Maybe Stallone is telling the viewer that Rambo is a man of the people. Perhaps Rambo’s history of slaying has brought him enlightenment above man’s worldly possessions. More than likely, the only thing that speaks to Rambo is blood, what he inevitably finds in every one of his adventures.

After slaying four Burmese pirates, who demanded the woman as a toll fee, Rambo drops the group off to spread God’s word and penicillin. Moments later, the village is decimated by the bad guys and the group is taken hostage.

Just when we begin to fear that our damsel in distress will be molested and raped by the Burmese general (who has only a handful of horrible, subtitled lines throughout the whole movie and might be the dullest antagonist in recent cinema memory), our fears are alleviated. It turns out that the general is gay and loves little boys. Stallone shares his feelings on little boy loving gay guys. Look out kid touchers! Rambo is coming to get you.

Stallone might be sending us a message about honor and could be telling us that having sex with children is bad, but he seems confused of what a personality should reveal in dramatic situations. During emotional and conclusive moments characters spend, what seems like, an inordinate amount of time peering at each other in the distance. There’s absolutely no development to the people we meet and we hardly even know their names. The only reason we know the main character’s name is because the movie is called Rambo.

Spoiler alert, but it hardly matters for this film. Rambo guts the pedophilic general and turns an anti-tank weapon on a group of solders. Rambo then returns home to good ol’ US of A. We see him walk up to a mailbox that belongs to his father. It reads “R.Rambo,” which leaves us with a big question, and maybe a cliffhanger for the next movie. What does the “R” stand for? Richard? Reynold? Rambo? Roderick? Rusty? Rodman? I’m praying for Rodman.